Mar 16 2009
Parental Guilt
Why does every parental decision I make produce guilt? I suppose it is still early (five weeks since son #2 was born) so maybe I can blame it on hormones but seriously, everything I have done today seems to produce profound amount of parental guilt.
Spending time with my older son makes me feel guilty (should I be spending more time with the baby?). Spending time with the baby makes me feel guilty (my older son doesn’t get the mommy time he used to). Trying to get housework done makes me feel guilty (shouldn’t I be spending every second with the kids?). Forget about actual work that pays me - that makes me feel the most guilty of all (am I choosing to earn money by sacrificing quality time with the kids)?
Even as I type I know this is irrational. If I never did laundry we would have to be naked and that would get cold at some point. I do need to work a little to make money (I’m sure my kids enjoy eating). Rationalizing, however, doesn’t seem to ease the guilt.
I’m fairly exhausted today so I’m sure that is making it worse. At least I do get some things accomplished. I’ll start with that appreciation and try to expand until I recover from my guilt-funk. I’m also glad I’m not naked - five weeks postpartum isn’t a pretty time to be naked so I am thrilled I’m getting the laundry done.
I’m sure this is something that every mother goes through. I only have one baby so far, but I can imagine how difficult it must be to divide your time between the two children. Especially since they have such different needs. I do remember it getting easier every week. Before you know it, your new baby will be running and playing with the older child. How nice it would be for them to be good friends and playmates.