Mar 12 2009
Mom Paralysis
Mom Paralysis: The technical term (I have just invented) for the inability to complete any given task.
Symptoms: MP presents in a variety of ways but is most often identifiable by the following: A sink full of dirty dishes, abundance of dirty laundry, an inbox that actually has work but an empty outbox, toys on the floor, a coffee pot on its second round of the day, and most importantly a crying infant (present in every case of MP).
Cure: None - well, maybe in 18 years but nothing immediate.
Treatment: There is an experimental treatment in clinical trials that involves a warning device that transmits a small signal to the neurons of the Husband informing him that take out will be required for dinner. Scientists are also working to develop additional signals such as: “Look down when you walk through the living room or you will get a toy stuck in your foot” and “Don’t comment about the pajamas I’m still wearing unless you are trying to commit suicide.”
Outlook: MP can present on any given day and can last from 24 hours to 18 years. While treatments trials have shown some promise, researchers agree that some men appear to be resistant to the neural coding and no alternative signals have been successful. In time technology hopes to address this but for the immediate future it seems that those suffering from MP should stock up on coffee.
