Unprofessional Parenting

My first c-section was an emergency event after a very long and painkiller-free labor. I was given an epidural about an hour before on the promise that I could try to push one more time but if the baby’s heart rate went down again (which it did) that I would be rushed into the OR to get him out immediately.  By the time I was rushed in I was exhausted, nauseous, and about half asleep (that epidural was pretty miraculous).

I remember being half naked on a cold table, a bunch of costumed folks roaming around the room, wanting to throw up, and most overwhelmingly two really bright lights hovering over me. My husband was allowed in and at that point I fell asleep. I woke up, Kill Bill style, in a recovery room with no baby and some woman asking me if I could wiggle my big toe.

Needless to say, this most recent c-section was a little different. I had a few moments of sadness that I was outfitted in a very sterile OR getting ready to have a birth experience remarkably different than the natural one I had envisioned in my first pregnancy.  Once my son was delivered that feeling passed quickly and I was just happy to see him.

Here was the weirdest part and the most difficult to explain: When the operation was done they had to roll me from one side to another to get the mats under me to slide me to another bed. The anaesthesiologist explained that it might feel like I would fall because of the spinal block. I had no idea how accurate this was. Once they rolled me to one side I couldn’t feel anything under me at all. It was like floating and was reminiscent of my first alien abduction - I mean c-section - experience. Had he not warned me I might have freaked out and thought that I was rolling off the table.

All in all it wasn’t too bad this time. Having to stay in the hospital for two days was pretty rough and those giant staples are fairly uncomfortable but it beats the heck out of the really long labor ending in a panicked abduction.

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