Unprofessional Parenting

Once or twice a week my son and I make mini pizzas out of English muffins for lunch. Today I split the muffins, sliced the tomatoes, and handed him the bag of cheese and a small can of sliced olives to finish them off.  The olives are his favorite part but it’s rare that more than a couple end up on each pizza - it’s a hazard I’ve come to expect.

Today he made a similar move with the shredded cheese. He put a tiny sprinkle on the pizzas and then proceeded to pull out a big handful and shove it in his mouth. I laughed and said “No, silly! You’re supposed to put it on the pizza not in your mouth!” Those of you who are more seasoned parents than I am would probably know not to make such a pronouncement and probably also know what came next.

After looking at me for a second my son reached into his mouth, pulled out the half-chewed hunk of shredded cheese and proceeded to place it on top of one of the pizzas. He was terribly confused when I told him “no, no, no!” and it was too late for me to do anything about it at that point anyway.

I tried to pull most of it off but it was shredded after all so I wasn’t very successful. Plan B was simply to make sure that he ate that pizza himself. Gross.  I should have seen it coming.

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