Unprofessional Parenting

You hack into your hands and cough up phlegm and snot

Do you consider my health or groceries?  Obviously not.

Why in your suffering do you even drag yourself work

Is infecting the public an employment perk?

Sneezing and wiping as my food passes by

I coyly ask “are you sick?” and try to give an evil eye.

My subtly obviously lost you let my look pass

“I think it’s just allergies” – yeah, allergies my ass.

Sure, touch my produce since it won’t scan through the bag

Yes, I’m sure it’s much too much trouble just to read the tag.

Wiping and checking and handling my food

Being a public health risk must put you in a great mood.

I’m more annoyed than ever as I scan my card

Stuffing that fiftieth tissue in your shirt pocket looks awfully hard.

As the snot rags overflow and fall to the ground

You find your pants pocket and there you stuff the next mound.

And now here we are and I’m almost done

Taking that receipt from your snot laden hand certainly isn’t my idea of fun.

As I gain the courage to look up into your runny eyes and chapped nose

I am horrified at what I see – the ultimate offensive pose.

What are you doing now that offends me so?

Have I not been sufficiently disgusted that I may go?

No, now what I see makes the hair on my head stand

Get your phlegm and germ soaked mitts away from my kid’s hand!

Why shake my son’s hand when you’re obviously ill?

The disgust churns my stomach – it’s a valid reason to kill.

As I grab the cart and push out of site

I hope you’re finally happy that I’ll be sanitizing all night.

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